The Pastor\’s Pen

An Independent Baptist Preacher\’s Musings and Observations

Parents as Examples

Posted by Pastor Szekely on May 23, 2008


Charles Barkley – loser of millions of dollars due to  the sin of gambling, despiser of Christians [read full story on this statement here], lost and undone without the Lord Jesus Christ – – but he makes a great point!


Who ought to be our children’s role model? Who ought to be the ones our sons and daughters want to be like and to follow? who ought to be our kids’ examples?


The word example means “a pattern; a copy; that which is proposed to be imitated”. Throughout the Bible, God gives many patterns to follow and He also gives many patterns NOT TO follow…for example:




1) THE LORD JESUS CHRIST – He’s Our Greatest Example:

Luke 9:23, “And he [JESUS] said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.”

John 15:9, “As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love.”



1 Cor 4:16, “Wherefore I beseech you, be ye followers of me”

1 Cor 11:1, “Be ye followers of me, even as I also am of Christ”.



2 Pet 5:1-3, “The elders which are among you I exhort, who am also an elder, and a witness of the sufferings of Christ, and also a partaker of the glory that shall be revealed: Feed the flock of God which is among you, taking the oversight thereof, not by constraint, but willingly; not for filthy lucre, but of a ready mind; Neither as being lords over God’s heritage, but being ensamples to the flock.”

Heb 13:7, “Remember them which have the rule over you, who have spoken unto you the word of God: whose faith follow, considering the end of their conversation.”


THEN, there are examples of:




2 Tim 4:10, “For Demas hath forsaken me, having loved this present world”

Lev 10:1, “And Nadab and Abihu, the sons of Aaron, took either of them his censer, and put fire therein, and put incense thereon, and offered strange fire before the LORD, which he commanded them not.”

John 6:70-71, “Jesus answered them, Have not I chosen you twelve, and one of you is a devil? He spake of Judas Iscariot the son of Simon: for he it was that should betray him, being one of the twelve.”




Parents are examples unto their children, whether we like it or not or whether we know it or not. Sometimes parents are examples to follow, but sometimes their examples NOT to follow.


As Parents in our relationship with our children, we must strive to provide the proper example unto them. 

Prov 23:26, “My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways.”


God wants our lives as parents to be the kind of example that is consistent with what we profess. We need to “practice what we preach” before them!


As parents provide the proper example for their children, will there any room for mistakes? Yes, there has to be. Every one of us is fallible, and therefore, every one of us makes mistakes…BUT: is there a difference between mistakes and hypocrisy?


Mistakes – we show our fallibility; we make wrong judgments at times; we misinterpret situations.

Hypocrisy – living by a double standard; living one way in public vs. living another way in private.


Question: What do you think would be more detrimental to a child: mistakes or hypocrisy?


We as parents need to live a life of integrity and openness before our family. We need to admit mistakes when they occur and apologize if we wrongfully offend our children, rather than ignoring or justifying them…now that would be a good example for them to follow!




Here’s just a brief list of examples I’ve compiled for us as parents on “how to” be a good and godly role model for our sons and daughters: 

-You follow through on what you promise.

-You show a genuine interest in your child(ren).

-You are a source of encouragement.

-You DO NOT “roast” the Pastor at lunchtime after church.

-You honor God by being in His House, reading His Word, tithing and offering, etc.

-You deal fairly with others in business transactions.

-You DO NOT say one thing in front of others, but do the opposite at home.

-You treat your mate with respect and reverence.

-You go back through the checkout lane and give back the extra change the clerk accidentally gave you.



In many instances, our children watch our lives more than they listen to our words.


10 Responses to “Parents as Examples”

  1. Courtney said

    Excellent post, Pastor! As my children have grown older, I am made more and more aware of just how much they learned by my example, and not from my words. The one thing I hear over and over from them, that they seem to really notice and appreciate, is how I am the same everywhere. They call me a straight arrow. One incident that comes to mind is a day a few years ago and I was particularly angry at the 12 year old boy you are now familiar with. Friends showed up and it in no way altered my behavior. They just got to see what I am like when I am angry. I didn’t think anything of it, but my children have made more comments about that incident and the honesty of my actions than I ever dreamed. I think I am just amazed at what impresses them. It wouldn’t be the things I do to TRY to impress them. It is when they are watching and I am completely unaware that they are watching.

  2. Great comments, Courtney!

    Truly, consistency is key. Keep on being that “straight arrow”, and please know I continue to pray for you, sis.

    Lord bless!

  3. Sis. Julie said

    Very good post Brother!! I know I have failed to be the example to my children that I should have been at times. But I’ve always tried to let them know I failed and that I’m not perfect and to please forgive me. Perhaps had I been a better parent my youngest daughter wouldn’t have moved out to “live her own life”. I don’t know. I do know that it isn’t my fault she left. She chose to leave. But it has caused me to question my example as a parent quite a lot lately. I pray other parents that are not being careful of the example they are setting will realize they could be setting themselves up for major heartache. God forgives…but our children are easily influenced by what they see in us. Great post!!

  4. Thank you very much for your comments, sis. Julie.

    I truly appreciate you briefly telling about you and your daughter, and my heart breaks for you both. I can only imagine how difficult it can be for you at times, but I’m thankful you’re not living in blame and guilt. That lifestyle is not good for you or your family and it can only put you on the sidelines for God.

    This Psalm has been on my heart lately, and I pray it be a help to you: Ps 3:1-5, “LORD, how are they increased that trouble me! many are they that rise up against me.(vs2)Many there be which say of my soul, There is no help for him in God. Selah.(vs3)But thou, O LORD, art a shield for me; my glory, and the lifter up of mine head.(vs4)I cried unto the LORD with my voice, and he heard me out of his holy hill. Selah.(vs5)I laid me down and slept; I awaked; for the LORD sustained me.”

    I really like what God had David to say in vs5 – “for the LORD sustained me”. Wow! David “slept like a baby” knowing he was in God’s Hand.

    You’re right, sis – God forgives…and He sustains! I pray one day your daughter would wake up, return, and be reconciled with you [if not already], but even if that never happens, you are still in God’s Hand – forgiven and going forward.

    None of us are perfect – all of us can do better. I need my children to know that and also to not use it against me for their “own way”.

    I’m rambling – please forgive me – but I’m thankful for your comments and to be in the battle with soldiers like you.

    Lord bless, sis!

  5. Sis. Julie said

    Thank you so much Bro. Szekely. I will read over that Psalm over and over again and let the Lord minister to my heart. I’m so encouraged by you and so many others that have been by to comment and let me know they appreciate me and don’t want me to quit blogging. I did consider giving it up very seriously!! But the Lord reminded me that it is healthy for me to do it in that it helps me and it helps others. However God sees fit to use me I want to be obedient. Thank you for your prayers for Michelle. I need your prayers…but she needs them more. She knows she is rebelling against God by admission to her daddy and me. So she is on dangerous ground but doesn’t care. That scares me…but all I can do is pray for grace and strength for our family in whatever is going to happen to get her back to where she needs to be.

    I appreciate you very much!! Thank you and may God bless you!!

  6. God can take care of it all, sis…please just stay close to Him. I and many others are with you in prayer and support.

    I too am thankful for you – Lord bless!

  7. Bro Tim said

    What a tremedous post Bro. You are exactly right most of our young people have the wrong role models because there parents are not living the right life in front of them. Thanks for sharing the post.

    Bro Tim

  8. You’re welcome, my brother…and thank you for your comments!

    Lord bless!

  9. Kate said

    This is an excellent post. It is hard to be the example you should be for your children 100% of the time. But praise the Lord that He is faithful and gives us the strength to be that example and teach our children in His ways. I know that I have had to go to my children and ask their forgiveness when I have failed. They were able to see that Mom fought sin the same way they did and they also saw how Mom handled it – which became a lesson to them in the end 🙂 Good post Brother. I am glad that I found your blog through Baptist Muse! I have included it on my blogroll.


  10. Thank you for your comments, Kate!!!

    Great to hear from you – thanks for adding me to your blogroll, and I’m very thankful to be doing the same with yours to mine…wait…I just realized – I already had you listed, but I had your old “blogger” site address. It has been corrected!

    Your blog looks awesome, and I’m looking forward to perusing it more real soon.

    Thanks again for clicking over – BTW: I see your blog is ranking pretty high on the Baptist Muse counter…keep it up! 🙂

    Lord bless!

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